The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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