considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
