you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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