at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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