We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
