all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
