So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I need moral support for this bender
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
