Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Randomize
