the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
