her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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