apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
