i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
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