I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
