So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
