Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Randomize
