I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
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