HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Hippo gnu deer
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
