office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
