Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
