are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
His hands were made for my vagina.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
