Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Randomize
