Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
