then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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