If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I'm really busy with my period
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