Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
