How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
one might say we're banned from that church
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
