dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
