Swine flu is the new snow day.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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