If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
