why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
