I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
