i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
