For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I want you more than these girls want KFC
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
