i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Randomize
