I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
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