I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
