I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
