ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Randomize
