ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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