no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize