dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
