I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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