best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
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