I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
