Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Randomize