How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
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