She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
