I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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