some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
