she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
