I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
